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4/18/15

To my angel.

https://www.facebook.com/camilamtv/videos/vb.264567640298880/723549977733975/?type=2&theater


Diem.
An angel on earth that left us with a lot to learn from her life & her soul.
I would like to dedicate this new phase in my life to her, Diem Brown.


Because of her strength, courage and determination, I have learned the true meaning of not giving up and going after my dreams. Because of her, I have learned that my future depends on me and the reasons behind why I do whatever it is that I do. Diem fought till the end. She taught me what it looks like to take control
of everything in life that you DO have control over, and what it is like to fight your hardest to win over something you have NO control over.
She is the most clear example of what a life completely NOT wasted is like. She took advantage of every last breath she took, of every last word she spoke and of every last step she took. She took full control over her life while on this earth, and she has inspired me to do the same.
As much as I want to be mad at God, and as much as I want to curse at God and tell Him that this was not fair, my core and my heart doesn’t allow me to do so. I truly believe that God had a plan for her whole life and I do have faith in the thought that we are all here for a reason, and she fulfilled her purpose. Therefore, there was no reason for her to suffer in this cruel world we live in. She can now rest in peace and her loved ones now know that she is no longer in pain. As for why… that is a trick questions that I don’t even want to ask, because it is unanswerable.
But the one thing I know for sure, and right now it is the only thing that truly matters, is all that Diem left for me. She left me wdiem-brown-768ith a lot of responsibility. Responsibilities that only I can fulfill.
She left me with proof and the knowledge that even though I may not have full control over the circumstances in my life and the life of those around me, I can have full control over what I do with every moment and every obstacle that life does throw at me, whether it be bad or good. She taught me that there is absolutely no one I can blame but myself, for my actions and reactions to everything thing that comes my way every single day.
I will forever be grateful to Diem for such a powerful lesson that I hope to at least attempt to fulfill every single day from here on forward.
Which brings me to my next point… my new blog.
Welcome.
I have always aspired to write a blog and share my life with people whom I love, but never had the courage. I always thought I wasn’t good enough for people to want to listen to me, or my english wasn’t good enough… always found an excuse to not do what might make me happy. But Diem taught me different.
This will be a space of emotion and hopefully inspiration. My little corner, my little space where I’ll be able to open up with no secrets, my feelings, emotions, moments whether happy or not so happy. And as much as I can’t promise that I will be good at it, or that it’ll be a great blog filled with great writing, I do promise you one thing- my honesty. I promise to share with you all of me, with no ifs or buts. I want to share every secret, every story, every thought. And I don’t expect you to follow it or read it even, but if you do choose to, I promise you to give you my all. I promise to be the very best Camila that I can be. And I promise that I will make mistakes, but that I will try my hardest to learn from every single one of them. And I promise that I will try my very best to follow in Diem’s footsteps, and I will try my very best to love more than I ever had, bring good into this world, to see & feel diem-brown-twitterthe beauty of the world every day, everywhere even in the smallest little things, and that I will try very hard to appreciate every moment of every day, with passion and care, and that even when times are hard, I will find hope somewhere deep in my core, and I will fight, and I will never give up nor complain because at the end of the day, I am blessed. I am blessed to be. I am blessed to know that -even though I am an insignificant small human sitting in a corner somewhere along this huge universe, I can make a difference and I am blessed to know that if I am capable of impacting one single person, like Diem did to me, in my life time, I will die happy. Our Diem did much more than that, and I have no doubt that she is a happy angel, because she gave so much love & hope. At the end of the day, that is all I aspire to do, to be a pink light in the city.

Welcome to my blog.

Much love,
Camila Nakagawa

2 comments:

  1. This was a lovely and heartfelt post. I am looking forward to whatever you may share in the future... I know that incorporating a blog in ones life can be quite challenging at the beginning, but if you stick with it, it gradually becomes easier. Cheers to you, Camila.

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